It might seem counterintuitive, but boundaries actually help build relationships and bring people closer together.  When you set up boundaries you let people know how to engage with you and ensure that your relationships are defined, safe and respectful.  Boundaries allow you to connect with others, while keeping your private stuff safe.

In a nutshell healthy boundaries mean we take 100% responsibility for our lives: our actions, attitudes, behaviors, health…and for the consequences of these choices, both positive and negative.

It also means that we let other adults assume 100% responsibility for their lives as well, and for the consequences of their choices, whether positive or negative.

A few boundary basics:

  • Don’t try to change others.  It’ll never work.  Stay focused on being the best version of yourself that you can be and allow the other person to do the same (or not, if they so choose).

  • Stay out of other people’s personal business and space and avoid negative gossip and unkindness.

  • Acknowledge how you’re contributing to the problems in your relationships and focus on fixing yourself instead of trying to get them to meet your expectations of how you want them to be.

Key Thought

Boundaries keep us safe and respected in relationships.

To learn more about how your actually set these and other boundaries watch our e-program Boundaries: The Secret to Successful Relationships