Is someone mistreating you in your life and getting away with it?

Everyone can share experiences of being treated poorly or even abused.  From name calling, humiliating moments, intimidation, micromanaging, shunning, control, to bullying, harassment and discrimination…this list could go on forever. In the workplace these behaviours (usually coming from leaders) diminishes productivity, morale, creativity and attitude while increasing stress leave, staff turnover and disability claims.  It is costing workplaces billions of dollars to the bottom line and yet when you look at statistics, 70% of the people who leave or are let go are the individuals who are mistreated!  

In the home environment, the toll of abusive behaviour on self-esteem, self-worth, optimism, trust, safety and security is devastating to the lives of family members who endure this treatment.  Too often people make excuses for these behaviours…”just kidding” “I didn’t mean it” “it was an accident” “you know I love you”.  Really?  The mean thing someone just said or did was a joke?  I have a standard for jokes…if someone can be hurt by them, they are NOT FUNNY!  

This is love?  Love is founded on respect.  There is nothing loving about mistreating another person.  Too often I hear the mistreated person say but”I know he/she loves me”. As soon as I hear that, I know I’m looking at a person who has a long history of not feeling loved, valued and respected.  A person who is not sure where the bar is for what should be tolerated and what is unacceptable. 

When we fear abandonment, separation, job loss and being alone, it becomes more difficult to stand up for how we deserve to be treated. If we add strong needs for approval and acceptance where we define our value by how we’re treated, we are even more likely to endure the mistreatment.  Worst of all, people who mistreat others actually have radar for the people who will let them get away with it and the people who allow themselves to be treated this way may actually unconsciously be drawn to these relationships.  On a positive note though, this gives you the opportunity to change this dynamic moving forward.

Check out the BizLife course series on Dealing with Difficult People and work towards ending the mistreatment in your life.  You deserve better!